At the Church, we all lined up outside the front door, in a double line or paired up. The Bride and Groom walked last. The bride is in a beautiful white dress that the groom''s mother has picked out but rented.. This parade consisted mostly of family members and me, but I am family to them. We were to occupy the first 4 pews. As I got to the front, i slide into the 4th pew, but I was immediately drag to the front row, one person removed from the groom. The men sit on one side of the church, while the women sit on the other. The church wedding is quite similar to a church wedding in the states. There was the Mass, with the bride and groom reading some scriptures, then the exchange of rings and vows. The whole ceremony took about 90 minutes, so that wasn't too long. (the next day at the church there would be another wedding with 4 couples all getting married at the same time, which would take much longer). After the wedding, we again, all parade out. Then there are some group photos on the front steps of the church.
Now the groom's family goes back to their house, and serves a small breakfast to some honored guests. The priest comes too, and eats with me; he can talk some English. The brides family has gone back to her house. Later, we all try to rest, but now it is hot and still noisy, so I don't think I got much rest. In the afternoon, the groom's family is going over to the bride's house for a reception. Again it is parade, all the family walking several blocks to the house. This time, Kim gives me a job. Kim, the groom's mother and my friend from Portland, asked me to bring up the rear and make sure they don't lag too much. I readily accepts this task. Now it is hot and we are still in our dress clothes. The groom's family is bringing several gifts to the brides' family too. Once we arrive, the family of the bride has a formal tea welcoming of the groom's family; this takes about an hour. Then all the guests start to arrive, They are all seated at round tables with 10 persons to a table. I am inside eating with the brides uncles at the "head table". The food is great. There are about 7 courses, plus all the beer you can drink. I always somehow find a way to communicate with the guests. They seem to enjoy learning about me, and genuinely thrilled that I am there. I always feel very welcomed by everyone at the party. There is a live band that is performing and they sound good, but so loud. The bride and groom, now the bride in a traditional Chinese like wedding gown, and family members have some formal toasts with champagne. Then it is time for eating and drinking. After a while, i proceed to mingle with the guests, which I enjoy, but most want me to drink or toast with them. I try to drink only a little, but it didn't always work. Anyway, I have a great time meeting everyone. This goes on about 3 hours. Kim asked me to stay with Danny, the groom, until it was over. I stay until most left but some we not leaving because of the free beer. Haha!
That night I was very tired, and I should have slept well, but my mind would not shut down. It was like an out of body experience. I need to just enjoy the moment. The next day was the groom's reception. This started about 11 AM. Again more food, beer, live band, hundreds of people. Thankfully, Kim gave me another job so I felt useful. She told me to be the greeter at the door, welcoming people and to try to get them seated. I was made for this job!! Many were surprised to so me at the entrance, maybe didn't understand what I said, but flashed a beautiful smile back at me. A few of the cousins' saw what I was doing, and proceeded to help me, so we became quite efficient. Also, both of these parties, we held in the street with a canvas awning covering. Again, more great food and lots of beer. I don't think I have ever drunk so much beer in such a short time, even in my college years. Some of the people looked familiar but many were new to me. I found myself circulating among the tables, meeting people, learning who they were, and taking some photos. Kim and Binh(the groom's parents loved that I was so friendly with all their guests, otherwise I wouldn't have done it. ) There was Karaoke singing at the party. The VNese LOVE Karaoke!! The groom's family had told me they wanted me to SING at the party before we left Portland. I dreaded this idea, but was going to force myself if necessary. Now, at the party, only the son sang and he sang with another guest. And he had music and sang in VNese. If I sang, I would have to sing without music and in English. Luckily, they didn't press the issue. Later, there were a few people dancing, and the woman asked me to dance on stage with her. So, I thought, I can do this. Now, even this thrilled the crowd. It was so loud on stage, and the song went on and on.. Actually, I danced to two songs. Now, I was really wringing wet. My dress shirt looked like I just taken it out of the washer. Again, this party went on for hours. The bride was in a different dress again, very beautiful each time. Total exhaustion set in. But finally after two days, it was basically over, I thought. There was only more small custom in the evening where the groom and his family walked over to the bride's house and brought her back to the groom's house. She packs her things in a small bag and then begins her life with the groom.
I am sure I have gone on too long. But I could have said much more. I am sure if I thought again, I could write even more. But in conclusion, I would like to just comment that I feel really blessed, honored, humbled, and appreciative of this friendship, the love. This family is so good to me, and to be so included in the ceremony brings me to tears, tears of joy. This whole community is so friendly and open. I can't tell you how many strange houses I had tea or beer in. One day, I was walking in the neighborhood, and 4 guys on motorbikes stopped and asked me in hand gestures to come with them to sing Karaoke. So I hopped on the back of the bike, not knowing where I was going. Pretty soon, we were doing down a bumpy dirt road, in an area I was not familiar with. We stop at a house, and I am invited in. A man who speaks some Eng. but a complete stranger, is thrilled to see me. Soon I am sitting on the floor, Indian style, eating strange food, drinking beer again, and listening to them sing. But they are all very aware of any needs of mind, so after a while I tell then I have to go back. They understand, thank me profusely for visiting, and one man brings me back. This is a wonderful feeling. I will treasure this lifetime experience of a long time.
It will probably be a while before I write again. I hope you all had a wonderful May day!!!
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